Back from the city of sin, and now off to the beach for a few days. Enjoy!
NE is my best friend.
Our D/s relationship is not 24/7, but it is always there – like the leather flogger I have laid out so carefully on my bookcase: most visitors politely pretend to ignore it, but it’s mere presence puts everything else in my study in a slightly different light.
Several years ago I spent a great deal of time with a friend of mine who was just learning about the D/s lifestyle. I’m not extremely overt about what I do behind closed doors, but he knew about NE and I’s relationship. Once, almost casually, he mentioned that he planned ‘to break’ his girlfriend. He’s not a physically or emotionally violent person. I *know* he wouldn’t harm anyone. He was trying to convey the fact that he planned to take her down.
But words have power. Using the right words is very important.
I don’t like to break things. Bend? Oh yes. I’ll bend someone so far they *think* they might snap. But part of being dominant is knowing just how far someone can be pushed.
A broken toy is of no use. A broken friend even less so. A broken best friend? …
There are ways to reach inside someone and grip them with such intensity that their world is reduced to a single sensation. Force them outside themselves. Faster. Harder. Now. Now. NOW.
Moments like these can rip people apart in more then a metaphorical manner.
Relationships made only of these moments will burn brightly and quickly. Before NE, most of my relationships were made almost entirely of these moments. Long term relationships require a different strategy. I have to pace myself with her. I don’t have to break her to make her mine.
With her, I have different moments – those that I tease along slowly. Weeks, months, of planned disagreements, subtle touches, a random letter or two and then I descend and take what is mine. The heat has been brought to a boiling point and in a war of attrition, I win it all without having to burn her out. This method is much more insidious. And just as enjoyable.
Oh, I still enjoy a good hard mind-fuck once in a while. But I’ve also learned to enjoy the more gradual rewards of the longer view.