Another long post; I debated breaking this up into two parts to make it easier to read – but have come to the conclusion that I much prefer having you all suffer through reading it all at once.
I’ve kept these logs because they hold power for me. They are moments of enjoyment that I read every once in a while as a reminder. Like looking at old photographs – only better. Sentiment, fear, desire, envy. I can almost taste the sensations that slip between letters and fill the moments between action and response. I do hope some of this comes across to you as well.
A couple of notes: All conversations are at least two years old. All names are changed to protect the guilty. And the logs are editted, mostly to correct grammar/spelling mistakes and to condense the content to make them easier to read.
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1-10-02
D’jaevle slowly draws his fingers up along your cheek, tilting your head back, his lips brushing across your skin. He parts his lips against your ear, teeth grazing, tugging lightly. Hands slip lower again, drawing you closer still. He leaves a trail of small kisses down your neck, moist and warm against your skin.
Elena leans back against him, her head turning to the side. She shivers, hands moving back to rub his sides. She tilts her head back, invitingly… mmms and her hands move to meet his at her waist, lacing with his fingers. She guides his hands upward, finally resting against her breasts. She slips her fingers from his and rests her hands on top, leaving them there and pressing down slightly.
D’jaevle curls his fingers along your breasts, pressing in slowly, palm rubbing upward as he draws you back against him. His breathing brushes along the back of your neck. He leaves one hand presses against your breast, his other dropping down to the edge of your gown, finding the warm flesh underneath. His fingers slide slowly up your thighs, pressing inward. He draws your nightgown up slowly, over your head, letting your bare skin rest against his. Enjoying the feel of you against him. Taking advantage of your body so close to his own, he slowly traces small moist kisses down across your shoulder, biting lightly. “Might I ask how you are attired this eve?”
Elena exhales deeply, her body tensing in excitement. Her hands drop limply to her sides, head heavy against his shoulder as she presses back against him. She closes her eyes again briefly, her breathing ragged. She pulls from him, turning herself around to face him, then presses her body fully against him again. She brings her hands up, draping one over his shoulder, the other moving up to trace a finger along the side of his face, admiringly. She leans against him, head tilting back again to rest against his shoulder. She lets out a soft moan of approval, nodding… “Just my nightgown, ready for bed. And what are you wearing?”
D’jaevle leans in against you, his hands around your waist, one knee pressed lightly against your thighs. His eyes slowly slip down over your body, tracing the naked curves. “Currently…black short jeans…black t-shirt…””
Elena grins, a mischievous look in her eyes. She slides her hands down roughly, over his shoulders, down his arms, then sides, finally resting them at his waist. Her fingers grip the fabric of his shirt, moving it out of the way to slide her hands underneath… pressing her palms against his bare chest and moving them upward, slowly.
D’jaevle smiles, watching your eyes, his skin warm against your touch. His own hands slide down your lower back, taking his time to trace the small of your back, along the curve of your ass. He presses you back, his chest close, enjoying the friction as his left hand slips just under your thigh, drawing it up slowly along his own leg, parting your legs. “Still think of that edge, the thrill of pushing lines?” His fingers slipping slowly down the edge of your ass, tracing the line to press lightly, feeling heat at the tip of his fingers.
Elena keeps her eyes fixed on his, hands moving down again help pull the shirt over his head. Her hands return to his sides, pressing her breasts against his chest, enjoying the warmth and shutting her eyes. A soft sigh of contentment. She nods. “At times… ” Her hands slide around to the front of his waist, fingers fumbling with the fastens. Her eyes open again to meet his, smiling gently. She works quickly, finally unfastening his jeans and pushing them off his hips, down until they fall to his feet. She draws him tightly against her, arms wrapping around him. She rests her head against his shoulder, moaning softly at the feeling of him against her skin.
D’jaevle steps out of the jeans. His fingers slide slowly deeper, pressing upward, lightly along the crevices where your legs meet your hips. His voice is soft near your ear, “I do like to push lines, just along the edge.” He curls his fingers tighter, gripping your ass just enough to draw you up against his knee as it slips between your thighs, his eyes on yours, “There always has to be an edge, a place to cut yourself.”
Elena shifts against him slightly, her breathing is ragged as she lightly brushes her fingertips up and down his back. She grins slyly and pulls her head up, leaning in slightly as her eyes lock on his, head tilted. She gasps at the feel of his knee, moving her hips against it. Her eyes narrow a bit, curiously… “And how do you know when you’ve reached the edge…”
D’jaevle draws his knee very slowly along the apex of your thighs, then deeper, rubbing a bit deeper, his teeth biting lightly on your shoulder, tasting the skin, “…when the temptation to go over will make you do almost anything.”
Elena groans softly, hands running up his neck and through his hair, caressing. Her head tips back and she shuts her eyes again, forcing her hips forward even more. “What if the temptation takes over… what if you want it to…”
D’jaevle hungrily tastes your neck, his tongue and teeth moving down your neck with a deliberate pace. Fingers press deeper, tips slick as his knee rocks up against you, pressed hard against you, “Then reluctance is overcome, the need to go over, to give in burns.”
Elena furrows her brow, breathing beginning to speed up. She growls wantonly, hands frantically moving over his back, pressing herself in time with his knee. Her words are separated by short gasps… “Have you… ever… been taken over by the temptation?” She wraps her arms around his neck, leaning in to keep her balance, knees beginning to shake as she trembles from the pleasure. She groans deeply, hips still moving with his knee…
D’jaevle matches your growl with his on low groan against your neck, breathing harsh against the skin. Hands draw you up, lifting you against his knee as he slides it, now slick, against you, faster, deeper, finding the heat, “…once…or twice…when the need for the edge, a touch, a voice, a taste…” He lowers you to the ground, keeping his knee against you, but slowly moving down your neck, your shoulder, small moist kisses across your chest, finding the curve, along the top of your breasts – a lick, a slow movement of tongue down over your nipples, eyes flickering to yours, “Have you?”
Elena rolls her eyes back with pleasure as he moves against her, briefly glancing back to meet his eyes… “Same… once or twice…” She growls again, one leg draping over him, hands reaching out to caress his hair. Her head drops back to the floor again limply, pushing her hips upward.
D’jaevle meets your eyes, “And…what caused you …to give in those times?” His fingers slide down lower, bending your knee and parting your thighs further, his knee pressed squarely between.” He smiles against your skin, his teeth drawing down on the edges of your nipple, tugging lightly, then just a bit harder. His fingers urge your back to arch, allowing deeper access as his legs entwine with yours.
Elena breathes heavily, head tilting back farther, back arching slightly… “Need… desire… when the temptation took over, there was no turning back.” She lets out a soft gasp, the tugging pleasurable. Her body shifts invitingly, legs rubbing against his.. her hands caressing his hair, gently pressing him against her breast.
D’jaevle suckles slowly, his tongue slipping lower, down along your skin. His fingers continue to draw up your knee, eyes flickering to yours, and then down, kissing the top of your knee, fingers tickling the inside of your thigh, slowly, like a slow brush across sensitive skin. He takes his time, nibbling lightly, fingers curved to brush the inside of your knee; his eyes move to yours, catching your gaze – and then the slow pressure of lips down your thighs, each kiss light – moist and burning into the skin.
Elena mmms, squirming at his touch against her thighs, giving her goosebumps. She lifts her head to watch him, parting her legs more, muscles tensing with anticipation. She shivers with each kiss Her neck begins to get weak from the intensity, her head falling back to the ground again with a low moan.
The largest difference is that as my relationship with my first submissive has grown, I have a better understanding of what I can expect from a serious long-term D/s relationship. In short, I’ve been spoiled. Overall, the things I want haven’t changed. I still want a creative, intelligent, challenging individual. She must have some confidence in herself. Being submissive does not mean being a push over. On the other hand, while a bit of stubbornness is, dare I say, almost endearing in that bratty-sort-of-way, rigid unreasoned thinking is not attractive to me. I expect my submissive to be willing to try new things – she must allow herself to be guided (nudged, pushed, driven, as I please) into areas she would not explore on her own. Above all, she must be dynamic; life changes, and we have to be willing to adapt.