10 Ways to be a Better Dom (part 2)

7) Make Decisions.

You know the couple who spends an hour trying to decide where to eat every night? Don't be that couple. Know what you want and be willing to take the initiative to make it a reality. Step up and make a decision.

This doesn't mean you need to be an uncompromising ass. Don't ignore her or render her opinions irrelevant. Listen to what she wants and make a decision that takes her desires into account. This means some nights you forgo the steak house and you go seafood. Indulge her now, and indulge yourself later.

The most important thing to remember is this – having a difference of opinion can be solved. Not having an opinion at all is a much larger problem.

6) Have Confidence.

The true key to confidence is simple: Be detached. This is hard, especially when you are really attracted to a person – but if you want her to return that attraction, you can't show your interest by fawning all over her.

Women want to be desired. They want you to want them. And the less impressed you are, the harder they will work to prove they are desirable. At the very least, you have to avoid being needy. Nothing is less attractive than puppy-affection from a man. Oh, they may pet you, cuddle, and even keep you around as a 'good' friend (who fetches drinks), but you're not mating material. This idea of disinterest is why attached men are often more attractive to women. Truly attached men may be interested in women other than their wife, but they are less likely to do something about it. This makes them both safe and challenging – a tempting combination.

Confidence is important. But something almost as good is appearing to be confident. Even if you're shaking inside, even if your nervous as hell – if you can hold it together, stay cool and collected, you can get by. Just don't take it too far or you'll just come across as arrogant (and not the good kind of arrogance). Real confidence will come with experience, being comfortable in your own skin, and success.

Bonus Section: Compliments are important, but they must be real, honest, and insightful. If you constantly flatter her, it will become all but white noise; don't compliment her enough and she may feel unappreciated. The best time to compliment her is when she looks particularly beautiful to you (or does something particularly amazing). This may be after she's dressed up for a night on the town or the way she looks as she wakes up in the morning, curled up against you.

Compliment her at those moments you feel lucky just to be with her and she'll know you mean it.

Be specific. Don't just tell her she is pretty. Tell her that her smile makes you melt. Tell her that the skirt she is wearing reminds you why you enjoy wrapping your hands around her hips or running your fingers up the inside of her thigh.

5) Create Expectation.

Create an expectation. This is particularly important at the beginning and serves several purposes. If the person you are with views you in a specific light, they are more likely to forgive smaller transgressions. They will also follow your lead more readily, be more willing to take chances, and will strive to internally reinforce this expectation in their own mind (once we decide on a particular view, our consciousness does not like to be proven wrong).

Expectations are created in several ways. Following several of the earlier steps (grooming, confidence, practice) cultivates a defined expectation because you are looking and behaving in a way consistent with someone who is competent and in control. There are other ways to create expectation. Assign a task. Give them something that forces them to focus some part of their attention on you even when you're not around. Find ways to remind them why they want to submit to you.