“That’s why the workshops were so life-transforming. We told each student the first impression he made. We weren’t afraid of hurting his feelings. We corrected his every gesture, phrase, and item of clothing, because we knew he wasn’t living up to his potential. None of us is. We get stuck in old thoughts and behavior patterns that may have been effective when we were twelve months or twelve years old, but now only serve to hold us back. And, while those around us may have no problem correcting our minor flaws, they let the big ones slide, because it would mean attacking who we are.
But who are we, really? Just a bundle of good genes and bad genes mixed with good habits and bad habits. And since there’s no gene for coolness or confidence, then being uncool and unconfident are just bad habits, which can be changed with enough guidance and will power.” ~ Neil Strauss, “The Game
***
Honesty, at this level, is difficult to handle. And even harder to expect from those close to you.
I think it is critical to have people in your life that aren’t afraid to kick you in the ass when you find yourself slipping into behavior that diminishes you. Surrounding yourself with the right people will force you be to a better, more complete person.
Note – I’m very stubborn, but I take criticism well. I listen carefully and if it fits in with the person I want to be, I’ll do something about it. But there is a line between direction and demand. Nothing puts my back up quite so quickly as people insisting I change. I want people around me who aren’t afraid to tell me when I’m wrong; I’m not looking for people to reshape me into what they think is right.
Do you have someone in your life who pushes you to correct the big flaws, along with the minor ones?