Trying to define the perfect submissive would be like trying to objectively decide the single best flavor of ice cream. Because everyone has different tastes, it is just not possible. I can't tell you what makes the perfect submissive. But I can tell you what I enjoy. If I were to write an ad looking for a submissive (and no, I'm not actually looking), it would go something like this:
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Seeking:
Intelligent, sweet, witty, whimsical, content with simple sacrifices and offerings made in her name such as poetry whispered in the dark;
worships in a glance, sings in the shower, walks in the rain;
unafraid of words and what they mean, gets caught up in an idea, a voice, a moment, devious, stubborn, beautifully self-absorbed, divinely giving;
as desperate in her hunger as she is coy in the chase, petulant and bratty, intensely driven, wildly exploring, somewhat domesticated, submissive.
I think you summed up beautifully the spirited submissive. And since you are not looking, I hope that means you have found as much! Great writing….truly a rare find in the blogosphere.
I gleaned so much from this post about the depth of your character, you strike me as a rare jem.
Mm. It’s so interesting seeing different dominants’ needs – my Marquis says that his desires are summed up in one line from the movie “Gosford Park” of all things: “A good servant always anticipates her master’s needs.”
Although I suspect he would require some of the other things you’ve listed as well.
All the same, as Introspectre says – these things are very telling.
Forgive me; you know I worship at your virtual altar, but “sings in the shower, walks in the rain”? Are these codephrases for fearless and romantic?
At the risk of impaling myself on your unsheathed dagger, I wonder at these cliches. Do you really consider these literal actions prerequisites? Or did you mean to invoke some candied irony in using them?
I also find it surprising that while “desperate” makes the list “passionate” does not. Just color me curious, and perhaps a tad provoking.
Mmm.
I’ll answer the questions in order: Not necessarily, no, and just slightly.
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Alright, I admit it. I’m a romantic.
The worst part? I used to be a *hopeless* romantic. I spared you those stories – stories about the times I left anonymous roses at the locker of my high school crush because I was too shy to admit my adulation. Or about the hours I’d wait on the phone listening to the steady breathing of a girl falling asleep because I wanted her to know just how much I cared. Or even the adolescent angst-driven torch poems I wrote about red roses, sandcastles, and unrequited love. Five years of editing literary magazines in high school and college cured me of that in a very effective manner. There are only so many ways you can wedge ‘love’, ‘dove’ and ‘above’ into a poem – and I read just about every single one.
I didn’t stay hopeless; I had a crash course in the way us human’s tick, particularly in regards to our libido, and I quickly fell to the dark side.
Now, my romantic side comes out in more subtle ways. It is in the details when I put together a scene. It is being a gentleman and opening the car door for them when we go out.
It is a crimson envelope containing a simple type-written note: ‘Go to the study, kneel, and wait for me.’
My adulation, too, takes a different form. I worship her by tying her down and leaving wet burning prayers against her body. I adore her by holding her will within the velvet tightness of my voice.
I revere her by taking her and fucking her up against the wall.
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But this doesn’t really address your question of why I would include the incredibly over-used cliches of ‘sings in the shower, walks in the rain’ to describe my ideal submissive. I explain all this to point out that I have no problems with romanticism but fearless and romantic is not what those cliches invoke for me.
To me, they mean something much simpler – they mean *fun*. D/s can be so very serious most of the time. If you don’t know how to have fun – don’t know how to run out into the street in the rain and laugh and get wet and just enjoy yourself – don’t know how to forget about your roommates and sing ‘It’s Raining Men’ into the shower head – then you may have forgotten something very important about life. That it is meant to be enjoyed on all levels. My ideal submissive would not just be a vessel for my dominant needs, but someone I would enjoy being with on a rainy day, listening to shower the next morning.
Fun comes in a lot of forms. Those cliches describe just a few. French wine and good conversation is another.
As for ‘desperate’? Well, I will admit to enjoying the thrill in having someone needing, craving, begging for something I hold just out of reach. Desperation in the contours of taunt skin and uncontrollable shivering.
I want passion in my love-making. but I want desperation in my cruelty.
Everyone has something to offer, something they can teach, some aspect about themselves that is enjoyable to share. For me, there are no true prerequisites in my relationships. Initially, I tend to take people on their own terms. And only if they are curious, courageous, interesting – and yes, even desperate – enough, do I then invite them to take it on mine.
I hope this answers your question, CG. Now come a little closer. No, closer still. Yes. Right there. That prickling you feel is the tip of something much sharper then an unsheathed dagger. It doesn’t draw blood, it doesn’t cut skin – but the wounds it leaves are blessings made of hungers you do not yet know you have.
My dear D’jaevle, don’t you put me in my kneeling place and give me the good down low tingle all at once.
All I can say is Thank you, sir.
And then press the “submit” button.
You’ve “spared” us the stories of your youthful adorations? I have to tell you, darling D’jaevle, the images of you leaving roses at a girls locker evokes a tender sweetness in me. That sense of the hearts fragility only makes a submissive desires more complex, a tightening of the web, a lust that was merely a melody becomes symphonic.
And, (smiles slyly) you don’t seem like the “sparing” type.
Would you ask your submissive to feel less than she was capable of? Please, sir, do not spare us ever again. To feel hungry is to be alive.
As you well know.
So. Basically, you’re looking (if you were looking) for a submissive chick who can read and has a decent working knowledge of how a thesaurus works.
Oh, and she can suck a mean cock. (i like the surly ones, myself.)
elise
introspectre has a good point.
We pray you haven’t murdered your words.
I loved this post and these comments and this whole thing. You better be careful though, you might end up with someone stumbling upon this blog saying, hey, how ’bout those crazy kinksters… they’re real people after all.