For Sake Of (the Art of Completion)

It is a weakness of mine, leaving things unfinished. You have just to look to my past language learning attempts to see a pattern: 2 years of French, 1 year of Spanish, 1 year of Latin, 1 year of Sign Language – and today I can’t speak more than six or seven words in anything beyond my native tongue.

Or my attempts to learn a new skill: contact juggling; figurine painting; knife-throwing.

Or dreams of mine: owning a pub; building a house; getting an MBA; creating/opening a MUX; editing and publishing a work of personal importance.

My track record is, perhaps, not a thing of beauty. And yet, because I am aware of this weakness, I don’t let it best me. I demand more of myself, complete projects and goals just for the sake of being able to convince myself I am capable of bringing to fruition the task set before me.

But is that necessary?

As I grow older, I find my tolerance for the banal waning with startling speed. In the midst of reading a fiction book of average quality, I question myself – should I simply stop reading and find something more intriguing? Or should I get my money’s worth and finish the damn thing regardless of my lack of interest?

Perhaps it is decadence settling in. Perhaps I simply know what I want. But in those areas that pertain towards how I entertain myself, my patience has become so thin as to be transparent.

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Footnote: This thought is specific and does not necessarily apply to other areas in my life. I have a long history of taking the longer view in regards to getting what I want and ensuring its worth in the end. My patience in this area, if anything, has only become stronger.