Month: November 2008

bad, bad thing

You shouldn't.

You really shouldn't.

But you are.

You're thinking of how delicious it would feel.  How utterly sweet the agony of surrender, the process of devolution into panting and slick skin.

But the fucking isn't sweet. It's coarse, crude, and dirty. Half-dressed bodies, muffled screams, and hard surfaces. Fingers scrabbling for purchase, an attempt to find balance where there is none. The serene obscenity of animal hunger.

It is you, doing what you shouldn't.

winter comes

Last week I stayed home a day, sick, and spent most of it in my study.

At one point, there was a strong wind and I looked out my window to see leaves falling steadily for twenty minutes straight.

It looked like it was raining gold.

Now the trees are almost bare, just a few stubborn orange leaves and one tree filled in bright yellow.

Winter is here, and I am not yet ready for it.

This past summer has been filled with some interesting challenges. In moments I have allowed my darker half full reign and then had to deal with the subsequent consequences; it is an axiom that we learn the true value of what we have only when it is at risk. It is an idea better left untested, for the hurt it carries, but in its cost is a fundamental understanding on where one stands.

ravenous

Describe this hunger.

Use sharp words, words filled with edges. Words with heat, words that sear when laid out against your thoughts.

Words that are not nearly enough.

This hunger demands more; this hunger is not attraction. It is not desire. It is not physical lust.

It feeds on them. It uses them to find purchase inside you. It is stronger then physical need or mental addiction. It goes beyond craving. It moves unceasingly under your skin, feral and raw. It overrides all other social imperatives. The cold mask it wears hides the pulsating need underneath.

This hunger doesn't react – it is. It is your hand finding her neck as you push her roughly to the ground. It is the sound of the front door closing and clothes shoved aside for a hard fuck against the wall.

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[audio:Djaevle_Aphrodisiac.mp3]
D'jaevle, Aphrodisiac