seven years

She never saw my face.

Seconds after stepping into my living room, I had her pressed against the front door, my hand under her dress to find her bare and wet. My fingers slid inside her easily, a coarse invasion made in silence. Her head fell back against the door and she struggled to keep her legs from buckling.

I dragged my fingers free, slick and warm in evidence of her desperate need.

I led her to the stairs. Blindfolded, it can be hard to maintain balance in high heels but she managed to stay upright in her ascent. I took her into my study and closed the door.

Her dress concealed a tight black corset and stockings. Dress pooled around her feet, I pressed her across the desk, ass raised. My hand came down in a solid slap that left her ass pink and then followed with another that left it red. She had small hips, and I practically lifted her off the ground when I pulled her back against me, nestling myself along the length of her ass. She laid herself along the top of the desk, raising her ass so that her naked sex slid roughly across my jeans.

Seven years since she had last been touched. Seven years since her husband had made love to her. Seven years where her only solace was found in her own fingers and imagination.

I pulled her away from the desk and threw her onto the large leather chair, legs hooked over the arms. I lowered my face between her thighs, tasting her, two fingers impaling her again while my tongue found the right tempo across her clit to have her crying out, hands clenched on the sides of the chair. Her cries of pleasure reached an apex and then slid into tears of another sort. I waited, lightly running my fingers across her thighs, giving her the moments she needed.

Then I started again.

New York, New York

I'm going to be in New York the first full week of August; I've got plans each night, but need to find something to occupy myself during the day.

I'll be staying in a hotel on Broadway; other then the Metropolitan Museum of Art (which I already plan to spend a great deal of time in), and the general touristy-crap (which I plan to avoid) what else is there to do in New York?

independence

Why is it that we fear those parts of ourselves we least understand? Why do we let others pre-define how we should feel about certain ideas? Strength is accepting the freedom we have and finding the distance needed to understand that the voices we listen to all have their own needs and wants; that no matter how kind and well-intentioned they are, no matter how professional and educated they sound, they cannot separate their own desires from the message they carry. No one can. The voice you most need to listen to is the one hardest to hear. Your own.

Hate me.

Hate me.

Hate me for understanding your need; under me, there are no excuses to hide behind, no doubts to hold you back, no fears to blind you. My belief will sustain you. My faith will guide you. My acceptance will free you.

Hate me for using your own body against you. My hands will learn the language of your cries. My lips and teeth will coerce secrets from your tender skin. I will be relentless, plying you open until your entire body betrays you, allowing you to enjoy the sweet indignities found in complete capitulation.

Hate me for having no mercy; my desire to watch you slip over the edge is matched only by my sense of cruelty; the delicate balance that keeps you helplessly teetering at the cusp is just the beginning, for I will see you fall again and again until I am satisfied you have suffered enough.

Hate me for making you remember; hate me for reminding you of all those feelings you had worked so hard to bury; hate me for awakening a need you thought was no longer there.

Hate me for not backing down; I will call your bluff and accept your challenge; I will have you on your knees before you have time to reconsider your ill-advised defiance; my judgment will be swift, if not severe, and you will taste me in each reminder I've left upon your skin.

But hate me most for the ending, when I brush away the tears and tell you the dream is over.

…and at least one day spent practicing knots.

What have I been up to?

For those playing along at home, it should come as no surprise that I recently attended a Pearl Jam concert. It was, undoubtedly, the best concert I've attended to date.

This summer, I have several small vacations planned. I've already spent a few days at the beach where I found that water temperature can dramatically change from one day to the next. The first day in the ocean, the waves were amazing but the water had us literally shivering. The second day saw tamer waves but the water temperature was perfect.

In early July I'll be heading back to the lake house, one of my favorite vacation spots (due in large part to the excellent friends I go with). They've added a pool table and air hockey since we were there last, and I'm quite keen to lose my shirt at billiards.

The first week in August will see me in New York for four days, attending a play or musical on each (Wicked, Passing Strange, Young Frankenstein and South Pacific) and I plan to spend at least one afternoon exploring the Metropolitan Museum of Art. My recent fascination with Opera Seria and Belle Canto operas led me to the NY Metropolitan Opera house's website, and I noticed they are playing Don Giovanni – which may require that I take another trip to NY early next year to see it.

I have a mountain trip scheduled for October, and I plan to set a date for a mile high hand-gliding excursion sometime before winter hits. I'd also like to find time for a motorcycle trip in September, taking a few days to drive westward and get some serious mileage onto my bike.

And those are just the vacations I have planned. 

The real trouble happens in between…