Month: June 2007

Pilgrimage


touch like slivered
         words
mine are the scars
         to trace
                                    winding their own merry way

and here is the end where even my god
              fears to set his foot.

so?
        are
              you
                    ready
                             to
                                 be
                                     taken
                                             by
                                                  my
                                                      little
                                                            hunger?
   
Forever tastes like this.

silver buttons on quiet shores
lies like shimmering lucidity upon which is balanced some small winged angel

wings to beat against the fury, like tossing pennies
    into a wishing well made of liquid god.
wings to shelter human skin prone to cracking under the strain of holding us in.
wings to hide behind
wings to sob against

we have no wings.

we are left then with craving, crying, crawling.

—

                     Let them come
                     Let them come
                     And ask

                                   why we must
                                          always have this

      driving anger
             fucking about
                   till every inch of the hard-biting cry
                                                                      Ends.

             for I know them too well.

    I am
                 too animal to be human
                         too human to be more

Metaphorically Speaking (Song of the Week)

Background:

David Olney put music to John Hadley's lyrics and created a song that both tells a story and acts as a living metaphor. From the album Migration (2005).

Significance:

Illusion and magic are something I am passingly familiar with.

As children, my older brother and I loved magic. Our parents bought us the '25 in 1' magic kits, filled with cheap tricks such as the 'ball and cups', the 'box and quarter', the hollow wand, the color-changing scarves, marked decks, and squishy foam bunnies. We'd practice, never long enough, and give semi-formal shows in our living room. We were particularly good, but I learned enough card tricks to impress my friends as a teenager.

As I got older, I learned that magic is, at its core, about misdirection and deception. But that's alright – we want to be deceived. Our need to know how the trick is done is directly proportionate to our childlike happiness in experiencing the inexplicable.

Love is like that. It is an illusion, a trick of the mind – it is, in the traditionally passionate sense, a tangle of hormones driven by our insecurities and a desire for companionship.

Yet we live in the belief that love is unreasoning. That it is impossible to judge or understand. We write sonnets and haikus in its honor, we weep at its absence and laugh at its affect on others.

And we try not to look too closely at what love really is. Because it doesn't matter why we love.

Just how.  

— 

[audio:DavidOlney_MyLovelyAssistant.mp3]
David Olney, My Lovely Assistant

Keychain

Three years ago:

After college, I developed a rather interesting habit that was half good-luck charm and half obsessive compulsive behavior. Often, when walking into work or leaving my house, I took to tossing my keychain into the air, once, twice – three times, with each toss successively higher.

When I missed one of the tosses, I'd start over. If I managed to catch all three without error, I was quite pleased with myself.

This habit disappeared with the purchase of my current house and my generally settled state of affairs.

—

Last week: 

…was spent at the beach with NE and Bear. Days consisted of drinking, playing, swimming, flirting, eating well, sleeping late, reading good books, reading bad books, buying sandals, and generally enjoying life.

Is there anything better than good friends, good drink, and good food?

I mean, other than good sex. But then, that is also a possibility – depending on just how *good* your friends are…

—

Last night:

After dinner and movie with NE and Bear, I realized I was going through a bit of vacation withdrawal. I didn't want to return to work just yet. I wasn't ready to let go of the good life.

As I approached my car to leave, I found myself tossing my keys back and forth between hands.

I gave my keys an experimental toss in the air.

A second toss, and I found myself smiling.

For the third, I closed my eyes as the keys left my hand. A moment later, I felt the sting of metal biting into my palm as the keys came back down.

It felt good.