There are two kinds of hate.
The first hate is the kind that burns; yours insides are an hearth to your needs. The second hate is cold, a distancing out of a need to punish.
The first hate has something to prove through direct contact with the object of its disdain. The second has something to prove, but it is to yourself.
—
Both hates serve a purpose. If I can get you to hate me, if I can inspire that level of a connection with you, you have already given over to me what I need to have you.
Hate is visceral – if you have such a level of control that you can inspire hate to such a degree as a deliberate act, then you indeed have me. I crave such depth.
Hate is not a place I truly recognise, although I have cause to know it. The mask I put above that emotion is yet to be fully breached, and I admit I do fear it. But, thank god, there are 2 kinds of love to balance the 2 kinds of hate, with the ropes firmly attached to my Master who will pull me back from that precipice when He considers it necessary to do so.
Thank you, D, for making me think.
“You should”
and
“what I need”
oh sir, you give away too much.
(smiles slowly)