The Fine Art of Absence

Taking time apart does not always mean an end, it may be a new beginning. Sometimes space is a necessity.

Absence does make the heart (and other, more malleable organs) grow fonder.


We want what we can’t have and we take for granted that for which we already hold. It is why abrupt loss of someone in your daily life can quicken your need for them. For months, years, decades, you develop a sense of understood comfortability in the commonality of a life share. It is only the absence of their presence that makes you keen.

It is one reason I guard my time and privacy so closely, choosing when and with whom I spend my time with. Overexposure leads to a lack of mystery, a loosening of the coil around their hearts and mind. Even with those closest to me, such as NE, I quietly put specific space between us to achieve a certain affect. I may be less communicative, a touch colder, weeks before a scene. I cultivate her hunger and nervousness, bringing it to a fine edge.

3 Responses to “The Fine Art of Absence”

  1. Tess Says:

    This hits me hard today. I worry that so much of my problems at home stem from this, although my husband is gone half the week, I still know he’ll be back and when. Marriage and mystery seem incompatible. (Don’t attack me, I speak only for myself not for others.)

    I worry, after a weekend like the abyssmal one I just had, will it only be when it’s too late that I know just what I have lost?

    And now I need to cry.

  2. Dae Says:

    I find it just the opposite. The further away they are, the easier they are to forget. If it is anything other than a week, I tend to grow quite content with them being away, even adjusted to it. I think they’ve learned this, because they often make more of an effort to contact me than I do them; a failing on my part.

    Still, if I am given space, time and distance, anyone, no matter how close, fades to nothing more than a memory.

  3. lea Says:

    I would agree with Tess; I know he will be back from a trip.. but the time lost is lost.
    and then again I can see Dae’s point.. when he is gone long enough, i find a groove and am happy with my life and friends.
    However, I never forget him or feel he is just a memory.. . nor anyone who is gone from my life for any length of time. just my observations..

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