Too late. My hands are already around your neck. I can feel your breath catch under my fingers, your heartbeat against my palms.

For you, my hand is steady and my literal and metaphorical knives are sharp.

For you, I will cut quickly, so that the nerve endings remain intact. I want you to feel what is under your skin, under the protective lining of your beliefs.

You are not sublimated or subsumed. You are measured, manipulated, and made.

You are a sin to indulge in, a moment to be experienced, an implement of intent. You are a skill underused, but often practiced. You are my craft in form, my faith derived, my art form, my belief, my self.

You are my mastery.

I don’t want to cut you
but I do want to see
what is inside of you
and cutting may be the only way.

—

It is the difference between asking a wolf to play.

And inviting the devil to.

A wolf wants to see you whimper.

The devil wants to see you cry.

A wolf will devour you. Sink teeth into your neck and claim you.

The devil will take you apart so thoroughly you will have nothing to hide behind but the weight of his hands.

A wolf wants to taste the heat between your thighs.

The devil wants to taste the tears on your cheeks.

When I say the devil wants to play.

This is what I mean.

I want to use without consideration.

Inflict pain without compassion.

I want abasement without reservation.

I want you so low to the ground that when my fingers tangle in your hair to lift your head, it is so you can breath.

I will nurse your injuries.

I will let you curl at my feet with my hand at the nape of your neck.

And then I will start again.

I knew the girl, but lost her name.
where her heart was kept
was not the same

I knew the shape, her silvered need
but not how deep the cut
to see her bleed

I lined each blade within a row
gave each a word (a word she’d know).
and I waited by the tower built
touched each edge, each blade and hilt.

A predator wants most that which must be hunted.

Patient until the very last moment and then not patient not waiting not just or kind or thinking just hungry, just hunger itself, just close enough for the scent of rising heat to drive out all thoughts but that of bared flesh and the feast at hand.

There is a certain dark beauty in using skill and instinct when bringing to ground that which you chase; it is a prayer, an act of deadly seduction and the space between predator and prey is sacred because when it is gone there is nothing but the blood and viscera of desire.

It is the predator’s curse to feel most alive in the hunt; it is the prey’s fate to feel most alive when caught.

What I do know is that when you admit your own hunger, I feel an unfurling of low, dark, energy, a current that makes me want to grab you by the throat.

It puts me in a place where my control over the wolf is barbwire thin.

Do you believe in the beauty of rain?

Do you read books not to distract you from the world, but because it makes the world even more wondrous?

Do unexpected kisses make you shiver in delight?

Do you want to spend an evening naming your favorite villains while eating chocolate ice cream?

Do you like leather and lace?

Do you like to laugh while being naughty, and does being naughty make you laugh?

(does the word naughty make you laugh?)

Do thorns make you turn away, or will you pluck the rose despite the sting?

there is a beauty to a curve that
doesn’t quite end, it just
becomes another curve
like a smile
or silk
like a kimono showing
a bared shoulder
is a curve
you
are a curve

I crack nails on stone to find rich soil
mold clay into flesh
and flesh into place
heat my hands between your thighs
so I can temper skin
into marble

a smooth
perfect
cage

I set chisel to bone
and wait for

“Please.”
lean into it
shell cracked, lines split
topology and braille

I never loved you so much as when your imperfections were mine to trace.

In a desert, the dry heat necessitates minimal clothing: a robe, to meet modesty’s needs.

The person behind is less interested in modesty.

You close your eyes when his hands find their way to your hips beneath the robe. His touch is remarkably cool despite the heat, and where his fingers trail your flank, following the lines of your body to the back of your thighs, the shivers that follow are not from the cooling desert air.

He is patient. His touch is slow, running the up the length of your spine to slip the robe from your shoulders; his breath is warm, almost hot against the back of your neck; hands firmly grip your waist to pull you back into his arms before finding the front of your thighs, fingers spread as they slip between, moving up to the apex – brushing against your own heat ever so lightly – before drifting to your stomach, your breasts, palms pressing against your nipples.

Teeth graze your throat, then lips, burning, as if to replace the setting sun.

Bared skin is too strong a temptation. He turns you to face him, fingers winding their way through your hair, lips at the hollow of your throat. Shoulder. Chest. Soft, light, kisses.

Lips find your own, parted, hungry. Lower again, his hair brushing your skin as he traces your breast, lost in the inviting warmth of your skin, the promise it holds. He catches your nipple between his lips, gently tugging and he is on his knees, following a path lower.

You lean against the marble column to your left, needing the support as he finds your hips with his mouth. He is hungry, but patient, small light bites to the delta between hips and thighs, an intimate valley he dares without hesitation, his hand guiding your leg over his shoulder as he buries his face deeply between your thighs.

Just as the sun slips completely behind the horizon, leaving only darkness. The sound of your breathing. And him.

You are right. For me, thinking too much of you is dangerous.

It always has been.

I suspect it always will be.

I love to tease: threading ideas, promised edges sharp enough to draw blood.

For me, it’s like a cat sharpening her claws.

Or a wolf sharpening his teeth.

There is a depth to the hunger I have for you.

Or to be more honest…there _isn’t_ a depth. Because that implies I know the distance we have to fall. And what makes you so dangerous is that I don’t think there is a bottom.

You’re the other part of the blade.

With others, I want to tear them apart.

With you, I want to tear you apart. And then I want to put you back together and do it again.

And again.

And again.

And that scares me.

Because there is no plateau to the kind of hunger I harbor with you. There is just falling.

And I want that. I want you sitting on the edge of my desk in a skirt and nothing underneath. I want to bite my way up the inside of your leg. Not sharp bites. But wolf ones, the kind that are half way between nibble and flesh tearing. I want to take my time. Until I can feel you shivering.

I know that shiver. I know the way it starts inside of you, rising until you can’t stop it.

It’s like a dinner bell for me.